How has life changed you? The good, bad and ugly!

I've been on the down escalator for awhile now. I don't even want to say how long?! Menopause maybe? not sure but I have lost my joy, maybe even hope? blah. I guess we all have our bad days. I wake up in the morning put my fake smile on and go about my day but the problem with that is I'm like a volcano ready to erupt. I've lived my days walking through a foggy existence but not really taking the time to smell the roses. Remember the song "put one foot in front of the other and soon you'll be walking out the door" something like that? I think from a Christmas cartoon? I've been kind of doing that recently not thinking but just moving. Maybe I need change? I'm not happy. Tired of never having any money! bills, bills! Working hard for what? nothing. When I was younger I never really thought of being rich, I was never materialistic but for me I just want to have some fun. Spend a little. Who cares about the bills. They will always be there, breathing down your neck! I want to blame my hubby but is it really his fault? He is a simple man. Lives his life like a straight arrow. Boring lol. I guess if I had a crazy guy I would bitch about it. One day I may disappear and if you wonder where I went just remember "I was tired and couldn't take it anymore". I will get in my car and drive and drive till I find myself!